The usual crazy, unexpected sort of day

Well, for the first time in days I slept through the night so I woke up at 6am thinking, “Wow, this is going to be a really good day!”. Then I went and made coffee and got my email and dealt with all that, went outside to check the weather and it was seriously cold. Ok, then I wake up the little kids to get them ready for school. All is routine so far, when Alexis gets up, seriously grumpy because her baby got up too early and she went to bed too late. Not fun! I try to tell her this is par for the course with babies but of course, she doesn’t want sympathy or commiseration, she wants to be grumpy.

Ok, so this makes me about 2 minutes late for the bus, but only for Eli’s bus. I get to the top of the neighborhood to see his bus waiting to go left onto the main road. I beep, I flash my lights, I rush my son out of the car and run….and the bus turns…then Sophie’s bus shows up and I have to get her onto her bus and I realize, well, now I’ve got to take Eli to school.

Of course, I also need to take Miss grumpy pants and her baby to work, at the same time. So we figure out we’ll leave at 7:30. Meanwhile, Eli gets some breakfast and he’s quite happy to just be home. I convince him to get his coat back on and go to school and we drive in. I get out to try to deliver him to an aide and they tell me, no he has to go to the cafeteria. I’m in the wrong car line so I tell Alexis to go park while I take him in. Meanwhile, Alexis is late for work. Anyway, I take him in and he does not want to stay and keeps asking plaintively for his sister Sophie. Apparently when their dad takes them to school he is with his sister, so he expects to be with her, only she’s not there because she’s already gone to class. The aide inside the cafeteria just tells me to go, even though he’s upset, so I kiss him and tell him it will be OK and I go. I run into his favorite aide outside and ask her to run and and see that he’s OK.

I get back to Alexis feeling mighty guilty and off we go across town to drop her off. She’s feeling bad about being super grumpy and really doesn’t feel all that great. I get her to work and at this point, despite the new diet I’ve started, I’m ready to pig out on some McDonald’s breakfast.

I resisted the impulse and went home and thought, OK, I’ll take a nap and restart this crazy day. When I wake up, I panic because I forgot to set an alarm, but it was only 10:30 so all is good. I realize I need to run to the store and when I open my door there is a package with the new phone I ordered online yesterday!

Oh Joy! I get very excited and start messing with the phone and getting it activated and all that stuff…I still need to go to the store before the kids get home at 12:30 and I have to go fetch Alexis from work. So, I go and come back and I am so into the new phone (adult toy) that I forget to get Eli off the bus..luckily someone brought him to the door. We rush off to get Sophie. Naturally her bus is late and I need to be getting Alexis and I can’t stop fiddling with the new phone and almost forget to get out of the car to get her.

Ok, then we get Alexis and she’s feverish and looks like she’s got mastitis (a breast duct infection common among breastfeeding mothers). She is also amazingly exhausted. I’m thinking to myself…why does everyone interrupt my playing with my new toy? he he he

So she needs some rest when we get home and for a couple of hours I have 3 kids while I try to get my phone to hook up with gmail, which it naturally refuses to do. You know when someone tells you that your password is wrong, you recheck it about a million times because you don’t trust your own self? Yeah, I did that. Eventually I realized, well, it’s not me, it’s the stupid service, so nyah. So I still don’t have email on the new toy. I love the new toy…it’s got a touch screen and limited tv service…and some demo games..and really cool ring tones…it’s a pretty nifty toy!

Yes, I realize, this is my version of adult fun. After all, it’s my birthday present to me, my nifty purple phone. I really wish now that more people would text message me. Like, all day long. I need more friends who like to text people, all the time. All day in fact! Yes, I am becoming obsessed…

And that leads me to forget to EAT. Doh! So a late lunch later, and I feel sane again. I am able to associate with the children and leave the phone alone.

But not for long…

Ok, now I need to go help Sophie wash her hair and I am hoping I can leave my toy alone long enough to put them to bed early so I can spend time with my toy. My new boyfriend is an LG Rumor Touch…

I love my children…really.

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Welcome to my years of living dangerously blog..

Why is it called this? Well, mainly because being a single mom and grandmother is like taking a walk on the wild side. There is constant drama and very little time to have a life of your own. So my purpose here is to MAKE sure I talk about it. Make sure I learn to create a life that is rich and full and be excited and happy about being a single mom.
I’m not searching for a new man, I’m not just a mom and a grandmother, I’m a person learning to live a new life and leave the married one behind. I’m a person learning to live again and be happy. I am a person who is learning to live in the here and now and with the every day boredom and excitement of being Mom and Baba.

So, my life for the last year has been about learning. I learned about me, I learned to cope with my fantasy world by giving it up and learning to just live in this one. In my fantasy world, I had the perfect marriage to the perfect man and we would always be together because he was perfect and we were perfect for each other.

So, I learned a few things. He was not who I thought he was, and I really wasn’t who I thought I was! He turned out to care very little for me and was a serial cheater, and I turned out to be living a lie so I’d never have to face the truth of who I am and live in the real world, where people struggle to make it through each day.

That’s all going to change. Granted, it’s been changing for about a year now. I’ve done a LOT of work on myself, I’ve tried a few things, I’ve made mistakes, I’ve grown and changed.

So, today is my 45th birthday and it’s just the beginning. The beginning of the dangerous, yet enthralling, journey of being a happy and healthy human being. Of learning to truly appreciate ME and love and appreciate the amazing children I’ve got.

Let me introduce them: Alexis is 24 years old and had a really rough time as a teen and in her early 20s. It’s not my place to tell you about her life, but last year she came home to mama, single and pregnant with her first child. Her baby is here now and her name is Acacia Rose. Alexis has been instrumental in keeping ME sane for the last year. She’s listened, she’s helped me heal, I’ve helped her heal and together we’ve healed our relationship both as Mother/Daughter, and as friends. I have never been more grateful that I had her as a single mom 24 years ago!

Jake is my 21 year old son, he is in college in Vermont and is probably one of the most capable young men I know. He holds down an A average in college, he’s a wonderfully sensitive and loving person, and he’s really good looking too. I am so proud of the man he has become. I wish I could take all the credit, but his father gets a bunch of it, too!

Elijah is my 8 year old son. He has PDD-NOS, or if you’d rather, he is on the Autism Spectrum. He is probably one of the sweetest little guys you have ever met, and maybe one of the most challenging people I’ve ever had the pleasure to parent. He is loving and sweet, and sometimes frustrating because he just doesn’t see the world the same way as anyone else. Such is autism. Keep reading here and you may learn a few things about it!

And finally there is my sweet and loving Sophia Jane. She is 6 years old and in Kindergarten. She is amazingly smart, always sweet, extremely loving, and I am so glad she is a part of my life. She always manages to frustrate me and make me grateful to be alive, all in the same moments. She is beauty embodied, she is life everlasting.

And there you have it. Here I am, challenging myself to grow. I challenge myself to become the me I always dreamed of, I hope you won’t mind listening to all my rambles. Sometimes I’ll be funny, and sometimes I’ll be sad, but I’ll always have crazy emotions to share.

Here is my years in the life…welcome!