WOW! I’m all alone for a little while!

I know it may sound crazy, but I am very rarely all alone. No one home but me. Usually, someone is home, or I’m not home because I’m busy. I can’t begin to tell you how nice this is. In the past I’ve dreaded being alone, and to be honest, this time all I could think was, I can take a nap…but now I don’t want to take a nap because then I’ll MISS the time I’m alone.

Makes sense to me. Let’s talk about introversion. My son has autism, and early on before he was diagnosed, I thought he was introverted, even more extremely than I am. I test as 90 percent introverted and I’ve spent some time learning to respect what that really means and what it means for me. Well, my son is probably introverted, but he is also autistic, they aren’t the same thing. He’d rather not socialize, I like socializing. I just can’t do it for very long.

Introverted people like me have our personal energy drained while socializing, so what happens is, I have a really fun couple of hours with my friends and I’m ready to sleep for an hour. Literally. I enjoy people, I enjoy being social (though I’m not always good at it..I interrupt people a lot), but I enjoy the napping after the fact when I can get it. When I can’t, I am just fatigued beyond belief. I try everything, coffee, fresh air, you name it, and I am still exhausted.

I did figure out that I might be living in a constant almost dehydrated state, though, when I decided to start drinking a lot of water instead of coffee while pregnant, I suddenly felt awake all day long, even after socializing. I mention this because I believe water will be my replacement drink for coffee except maybe first thing in the morning in my quest to quit smoking. I really love water so it should work well. At least I hope so.

I wonder if quitting will help me with the extreme introversion or if it’s really just who I am. I remember in high school my stepfather did the myers briggs test on me and I was extroverted, which would mean I’m supposed to get my energy from social time. Is that the real me? Did the combination of feeling like an outcast, smoking shame, and hypothyroidism change my personality so radically? We shall see!

Oh goodness..after a day like this, I am so psyched to be alone, though. I think I wouldn’t like it if it were the whole weekend without anyone around, but a few hours is like a gift. So I sit here and ramble in hopes that my 9 readers will grin and say, “Well, she’s a character”. I’d like to be considered a character as well as a mommy.

Things I have been contemplating while alone: Should I figure out how to go out in public and make some friends to go out with on weekends without kids? Should I clean like a madwoman? This reminds me..I fixed my vacuum today and WOW it’s nice to have it working right again. It’s the simple things 😀

Also, I’m doing a lot of contemplating on what to do with my refund money after I get my car fixed up. Should I buy a Wii or Xbox? How about an ipod touch that I can go walking and running with? Maybe a good pair of sneakers that I can run in since I’ve got that pronating thing and need to spend some significant cash on that? Maybe, just maybe, whenever I have the urge to smoke, if I go running instead of snacking, I might kill two issues in one and significantly improve my health? Hmmmm…

It’s fun to have an unfettered mind 😀

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Megan Jobes

About to graduate college, moving into a job in the computer programming industry

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