Well, folks, today I have realized that the urge to smoke is really going down, so I guess the chantix is working. I am also happy to report that I seem to have no side effects, a very good thing. However, today I up the dose to twice as much, so we’ll see how it goes. Also, I am going to be doing more at the Humane Society which should help with keeping myself busy.
Today we made a list of risk situations. Mine are pretty routine, if I have a coffee, I want a smoke. If I am totally stressed, I need a smoke. If I am just getting home from being out a while, I want a smoke. Since I only smoke in one place really, I just have to stay away from my back porch and thoroughly clean it on Monday. I also have to figure out new ways to take a break from the kids when they are driving me up a few walls. Other than that, smoking just interferes with my life, so I think I can manage. I may have to switch to tea for a while though. Last time I quit, I was barely drinking coffee because I was pregnant, and so this time, with my 3 cups a day, it may be more dangerous. I also think I should switch from diet soda to water. I never want to smoke when I drink water because I can taste the smokes!
So today, I am getting scared about the actual quitting on Monday. I’m terrified I won’t make it. I have to make it, I really want to, but I am going to feel 20 times worse if I can’t, you know?
I think I’m more worried about the psychological stuff than the nicotine.
Ah well…I don’t want to talk about it anymore.