Why is it called this? Well, mainly because being a single mom and grandmother is like taking a walk on the wild side. There is constant drama and very little time to have a life of your own. So my purpose here is to MAKE sure I talk about it. Make sure I learn to create a life that is rich and full and be excited and happy about being a single mom.
I’m not searching for a new man, I’m not just a mom and a grandmother, I’m a person learning to live a new life and leave the married one behind. I’m a person learning to live again and be happy. I am a person who is learning to live in the here and now and with the every day boredom and excitement of being Mom and Baba.
So, my life for the last year has been about learning. I learned about me, I learned to cope with my fantasy world by giving it up and learning to just live in this one. In my fantasy world, I had the perfect marriage to the perfect man and we would always be together because he was perfect and we were perfect for each other.
So, I learned a few things. He was not who I thought he was, and I really wasn’t who I thought I was! He turned out to care very little for me and was a serial cheater, and I turned out to be living a lie so I’d never have to face the truth of who I am and live in the real world, where people struggle to make it through each day.
That’s all going to change. Granted, it’s been changing for about a year now. I’ve done a LOT of work on myself, I’ve tried a few things, I’ve made mistakes, I’ve grown and changed.
So, today is my 45th birthday and it’s just the beginning. The beginning of the dangerous, yet enthralling, journey of being a happy and healthy human being. Of learning to truly appreciate ME and love and appreciate the amazing children I’ve got.
Let me introduce them: Alexis is 24 years old and had a really rough time as a teen and in her early 20s. It’s not my place to tell you about her life, but last year she came home to mama, single and pregnant with her first child. Her baby is here now and her name is Acacia Rose. Alexis has been instrumental in keeping ME sane for the last year. She’s listened, she’s helped me heal, I’ve helped her heal and together we’ve healed our relationship both as Mother/Daughter, and as friends. I have never been more grateful that I had her as a single mom 24 years ago!
Jake is my 21 year old son, he is in college in Vermont and is probably one of the most capable young men I know. He holds down an A average in college, he’s a wonderfully sensitive and loving person, and he’s really good looking too. I am so proud of the man he has become. I wish I could take all the credit, but his father gets a bunch of it, too!
Elijah is my 8 year old son. He has PDD-NOS, or if you’d rather, he is on the Autism Spectrum. He is probably one of the sweetest little guys you have ever met, and maybe one of the most challenging people I’ve ever had the pleasure to parent. He is loving and sweet, and sometimes frustrating because he just doesn’t see the world the same way as anyone else. Such is autism. Keep reading here and you may learn a few things about it!
And finally there is my sweet and loving Sophia Jane. She is 6 years old and in Kindergarten. She is amazingly smart, always sweet, extremely loving, and I am so glad she is a part of my life. She always manages to frustrate me and make me grateful to be alive, all in the same moments. She is beauty embodied, she is life everlasting.
And there you have it. Here I am, challenging myself to grow. I challenge myself to become the me I always dreamed of, I hope you won’t mind listening to all my rambles. Sometimes I’ll be funny, and sometimes I’ll be sad, but I’ll always have crazy emotions to share.
Here is my years in the life…welcome!